Hurst's First – An Adventure in Having a Baby

Two Down, One To Go

We have entered our third tri-mester (or as I like to call it, the Thri-mester). Here is a picture of Suzanne as she approaches 29 weeks.

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It’s a Girl!

If you look closely, she’s sucking her thumb!

We got nearly 100% confirmation on Tuesday, at 23 weeks along, that we are having a baby girl!

We are both very excited, especially because mother and daughter are doing well at this stage and we’re happy to share all of that news with everyone!

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“I miss acting like idiots”

Pre-pregnancy

It wasn’t until one night, a “date night” that I realized how difficult part of this pregnancy has been for Suzanne.

Perhaps naively I always thought that the pregnant woman is so overjoyed about impending motherhood that she is only concerned about the baby and her health and not much else matters.

Eat healthy. Exercise moderately. Live correctly. That seemed to be it. And she seemed to be fine doing those things.

However, as I ordered a glass of wine with my dinner, she said something that took me aback.

“I miss acting like idiots.”

I knew exactly what she meant.

Loading up on liquor was one of the most fun things we did in our lives together. Bottomless mimosa brunches, free drinks from our bartender friends, sitting at home with a cocktail and then dusting a bottle of wine with dinner, pitchers of beer, followed by more pitchers of beer on football Sundays.

Those things led to dancing in our living room, beer pong at a dive bar, taking shots or Irish car bombs and really good, heavily-buzzed conversations.

Were we really idiots or were we just enjoying our twenties and early thirties without having to be responsible for anything other than finding a burrito at 2 am?

In the lead-up to this portion of the pregnancy I had read several items in books about the husband’s role over the nine months. Many of them said the same things: thanks for your seed, now get out of the way, but be supportive and try cutting back on your drinking.

So I asked Suzanne if she felt that way.

“Honey, it’s weird enough that I’m not drinking. It would be even weirder if both of us weren’t drinking.”

If that isn’t true love, then I don’t know what is.

Not too distant future.

But, honestly, I miss my drinking partner. She was the best. Sitting and listening to music with each other and a cocktail on the deck was something we each enjoyed as the sun set on another beautiful day.

When you lift your glass, think of Suzanne. Make a promise to yourself that you’ll buy her a drink when the time comes.

Me? I look forward to putting on a baby Bjorn, toting around Junior Hurst in the house with a beer in one hand, a glass of wine in my wife’s and hoping some good music comes on so we can wobble together – the three of us – on our living room dance floor.

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Wait … How Accurate is That Thing?

Life-changing discovery

Tuesday marked the 17th week that Suzanne has been pregnant. We thought it’d be fun to go back to the day we originally found out – June 15 – and describe our thoughts at the moment our lives changed.

Suzanne:  Nothing was really different that morning.  I was a couple of days late but that wasn’t new considering my body was still adjusting from not being on the pill.  The previous month I was even later and I wasn’t pregnant then, so I didn’t want to get my hopes up this go-around.  I was fully expecting this attempt to end like the last … in a big ol’ negative sign!

I bought a two-pack that morning because I was a little paranoid about doing the test correctly.  From what you see on TV and in the movies, taking a pregnancy test is this fool-proof easy thing.  All you have to do is pee on the stick right?!?!  Oh NO WAY … you have to do it for a certain amount of time … I think it said 20 seconds exactly.  Not one second more or one second less or your test could be wrong!  So this time I did it the more secure way … I stuck the stick in a container with my sample in it and counted.  Matt was timing it on his iPhone … 2 minutes.

Matt: I had a weird intuition that we’d find out affirmatively. Suzanne snuck away from breakfast out with the family that morning to go to a pharmacy around the corner and purchase a test kit, and for whatever reason I just had a feeling it would come back positive … even before she took it!

Suzanne:  And then it was more waiting … after you WAIT for the test to be “fertilized” then you WAIT some more for the results.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? This is torture!!  Ten minutes and then you can look at the results … but don’t look before or you may get incorrect results.  REALLY?  They expect you to be that patient and not cheat even a little?  Well, for those of you who know me … I’m not the most patient person.  I think we got into minute 2 and I picked it up.  And there it was … that light blue line.  Matt was saying … “don’t look!!! It could be wrong and change in the next 8 minutes!”  I laughed … I’ve heard of false negatives but never of a false positive.  OH boy.

Matt:  When we found out, she was freaking out, an obvious mix of emotions, while I was just ecstatic and couldn’t stop smiling. I could see on her face that she was freaking out. Suzanne, sometimes, likes to make the leap from A to F without B, C, D and E. So, I know she was thinking things that would matter nine or 10 months from that moment rather than just being excited right then and there. I took her face in my hands, told her I loved her and kissed her and said “This is AWESOME news!”

Suzanne:  I thought my first reaction would be jumping up and down.   Don’t get me wrong, I was excited.  I was.  I was just so not prepared for that positive test.  REALLY?? Can this REALLY be happening??  My heart was racing … is it right? Are we ready for this? Oh my gosh … I’m pregnant??

Matt: My parents were just back from two years in Germany and were going to be with us the next two weeks until they could move back into their house. Suzanne immediately said “We have to tell them! They’ll know right away because I can’t drink!” Initially I didn’t want to tell anybody. Even if it wasn’t a false positive, I always wanted to wait until we had seen a doctor and confirmed and made sure a heart was beating and everything seemed OK before telling anyone. But we were in a tough spot because my parents would be with us non-stop for two weeks and we were going to the condo on the river where a typical day is: drink, get in the water, drink, get in the boat, drink, get on the jetski, drink, fix the jetski, go on a booze cruise, make dinner, drink some more, play cards and then drink. I don’t think we could have faked it for that long.

Suzanne: My friend Ashley knew we were trying so I texted her a very vague text “GUESS WHAT?” … but she knew exactly what I was talking about.  She came right back with “You’re pregnant!”… all I could say was … “I’m totally freaking out right now!”  Then my thoughts turned to … Matt’s parents.

Now anyone who knows me knows I like my wine/beer/cocktails (I’m not really too discriminating!) … and if I’m not drinking either of those, boy would THAT be a dead give-a-way.  Heck, I had a glass of wine with dinner just last night.  Matt’s parents are here and we are with them for the next couple of weeks.  We have to tell them.  They’ll know if we don’t.  Matt was pretty adamant about not saying something and we spent a few minutes sparring about it being too early to say something (which we both agreed, it was!) but I insisted it would be SO overly obvious that I wasn’t enjoying my usual beverages.  And then comes the thought … well, I wish I would have known last night was the last drink I was going to have for the next year at least … if I would have known that, I would have savored it a heck of a lot more than I did!!

Matt: Aside from the excitement of finding out we were having a baby, this only confirmed how virile I am! So many people had told me that it takes awhile to get pregnant the first time you try and, honestly, I was looking forward to all the trying we were going to do! But, we got pregnant on the first try … so there goes all those months of practice I thought we would get! Secretly, I always wondered how good my swimmers would be since I had been playing sports year-round since I was four years old and I had taken more than my fair share of hits to the groin. To find out that all the plumbing worked – and worked well – was a huge relief. I didn’t want to sit in doctor’s offices and have to present samples.

Suzanne:  Needless to say, Matt’s parents were elated (their first grandchild in the hopper!) and I knew the next few months would mean a lot of adjusting in my lifestyle and positive thoughts for things to progress smoothly with the pregnancy.  And then there’s keeping the secret from my family and friends until I KNEW things were in the clear which was tough.  It helped being 3 hours away 🙂

It’s just such a hard concept to get a grasp on.  Even now, on the verge of beginning my 4th month, I still have a hard time conceptualizing I’m pregnant.  Even though I am starting to show, I feel like if an outsider was to look at me, they would see a chick who couldn’t keep her hands out of the cookie jar, not someone who’s pregnant.  Even as my disbelief continues, I worry we aren’t really ready for this change but honestly I don’t know how we could be more ready (except for maybe if we won the lottery!).  They say you’re never “really” ready … that it’s never the “right time.”  I guess that’s true, there’s always something else going on in life or something you can imagine being better.  But I think we are about as ready as we’ll ever be and I’m excited for each new milestone in this journey … whatever it may bring!

Matt: They say you never know when you’ll find love until you find it. Or that you never can script life (duh! Would it be scripted that we’d both get new jobs and move during a pregnancy!?) Or you can’t choose your emotions. I am certainly scared of the future of raising a kid (hello!? have any of you ever met me? I’m a huge kid myself!) but I am so excited and happy to be having a baby on the way.

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