Hurst's First – An Adventure in Having a Baby

What’s in a Name?

on September 26, 2012

We’re not at this point. Yet.

If there is one thing you think about a lot when a baby is on the way, it’s that you hope it’s healthy.

If there are two things you think about, it would be “I hope my wife is treating her body better than I am treating mine.”

If there is a third thing you think about, it is the kid’s name.

It’s one thing to name a dog – Milo and Roxy, the names of our pooches, don’t seem like human names – or to name a boat, but this is a human.

While you can get away with a silly name for a pet (Tinkerbell, courtesy of Paris Hilton; Meatball courtesy of Adam Sandler; Battier courtesy of my sister and brother-in-law) and you can paint over a boat, naming a kid is something that will affect that kid for a long time.

Sure, the kid could ultimately go to City Hall and change it’s name, or have a great nickname like Oil Can Boyd, or convert to a religion like Muhammad Ali did or get a sex change and turn Chris into Chris.

It’s not a cause of stress because we have several months to narrow it down to a few choices and then decide on a name, but it’s still a lot to think about. You don’t want an ambiguous name. Or a name that seems suitable for US Weekly because stars like naming their kids Apple or Moon Unit. I also hate people trying to be unique in their spellings. Jane is Jane. It’s not Jayne.

At the same time, we didn’t want something that is overly popular but also something that doesn’t sound like a stripper or someone from the ‘hood. (Sorry, but Tiffani and LaQuisha are out. Actually, any name that ends in “i” or starts with “La” should never be used.) We also want something cool, but not trendy now. So while “Twitter” could be a fun name for the next two years, that would be hard to explain one day. Although Facebook Hurst does roll off the tongue.

Spiderman Aquaman was already taken.

While we won’t find out the sex of the baby for two more weeks, we finally thought it was time to make a list of names we considered for both boys and girls. It was a way to have fun, see where the other stood on certain names and then lightly discuss our options.

The thing with names, though, is that most of the time you know someone who has a name you’d consider giving to your kid. So, if it’s a boy, Adolf will not be used. And if it’s a girl, we won’t be going with Gaga. Those names have been tainted.

As parents, you’ll already mess with a kid’s psyche enough. No need to add extra stress to its life by naming it “Corky.”


One response to “What’s in a Name?

  1. Melissa Wheeler says:

    Fire Crotch Hurst – do it!

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